Examples of "Low Blows":
1. Judging, criticizing, blaming, and condemning (e.g. it’s your fault”)
2. Name-calling (e.g. “sonofabitch,” “stupid jerk,” “fat slob”)
3. Accusing, rebuking, and reprimanding (e.g. you’re so inferior”)
4. Mocking, ridiculing, and taunting (“who do you think you are”?)
5. The “silent-treatment” - Turning a cold shoulder accomplishes nothing. "What you're doing there is expecting your partner to read your mind about what's wrong. You may think you're avoiding conflict, but you're only making things worse, creating something else to fight about.
6. Threats––threats to leave the relationship; threats to cause bodily harm; also intimidating ultimatums (commands backed up by vague threats––e.g. “You’d better get in the house or else!”)
7. Pouncing verbally on a person when they’re weary or distracted
8. Gunny-sacking the past (i.e. dumping on a person all your dislikes about their behavior since the time you met them)
9. Attacking the other’s “Achilles’ heel” (i.e. criticizing a weakness which they have no power to change––e.g. physique)
10. Physical violence––any and all forms, including throwing things, pushing, holding forcefully, blocking/confining
11. Screaming, yelling (intimidating, hurting others’ eardrums)
12. Bringing up former spouses, boyfriends/girlfriends, or people to compare (e.g. why aren’t you like…?)
13. Pretending to read the other person’s mind, telling them what their “real motives” are (Hint: instead, inquire––and respect it)
14. Interrupting or not listening
15. Withdrawing or leaving a Fair Fight (Exceptions: it’s OK to take a “Time Out” to calm down, but always set an appointment to talk further. Assure your partner that you will be back and that you love him or her.
16. “Triangling”––two-against-one alliances, supported by gossiping (which exists even in families)
17. Lying, secretiveness, infidelity––draining the primary relationship of its possibilities
18. Withholding money or withholding sex––in order to manipulate or punish.
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Learn peaceful conflict resolution, instead of:
“Low blows” (blows below-the-belt”––prohibited in boxing because they can be fatal). Be your own referee! Do not give “low blows”; and if you receive one, call ”foul!” and absolutely refuse to fight that way.